After the 28 practical.

Here I am, blogging in the late evening on the eve of my written examination.


What I should be doing right now, is to be studying my notes, cramming every information in for tomorrow's paper...but right now, I feel like I need to take some moments to revisit the memory lane where it all began.

I felt really upset today after finishing the most recent entreme; Casino, because I was fed up with Chef telling me that my slices for the biscuit was too thin (It was not!), fed up with my mousse for being insufficient to fill my entremet up. I was just irritated at the fact that the Chefs in my school probably finds that my group is the worst among every other group - late for presentations, more mistakes done by others which shouldn't even be happening after so many practicals.

I'm just sad and mad, and upset because sometimes, I am in the 'presenting late' catergory for some of the practicals. But I am even more upset with the fact that I'm being blamed for a supposed different outcome despite the fact that I've done everything accordingly to how demo was; I sit in the front of the class, I listened - if I missed out anything, I ask my friends (who've jotted down earlier). I don't ask the Chefs, because most of the times when I feel like I have a question, my mind processes the questions and offered common sense solutions.

I am not shy to say this, but sometimes, I feel that the mistakes people makes, often overshadow the good of others. 

I guess that's what riled me all up. I'm just all stressed up over what chefs thinks and all. I may not be the best, but I am here to study, to learn all the skills and improve. Through all my practicals, I'm very pleased that I actually can create beautiful entremet as well, with my non-existent skills in the beginning. I got to remind myself that I'm here because I love what I do now.

I don't know what the future will bring, but I have to let it be. Let things fall into places, and just put in my best efforts for the paper and the practical on Tuesday.

For now, besides studying, I have to trust and believe in myself more - trust that I can do it. Even my friends Sonya and Mew trust that I can do it, and needless to say, Ben trusts with all his heart that I can make it, why am I still torturing myself and stressing myself out??? =)

Blah, I feel much better after voicing out my thoughts.

Till then, good night.